I’ll be honest with you; I have spent very little time in a pool since my Robben Island crossing last April. I simply have not had the inclination to swim or to train for events. In an attempt to drag myself to the water, I briefly looked into joining a squad but struggled to find the right fit and didn’t look much further.

Despite this, I entered two events for the 2022 Midmar Mile because swimming just once isn’t enough of a challenge for me. I know, #humblebrag. The week before the event, I pushed my Saturday morning swim out by a day and planned to swim twice on the Sunday with a 3 hour gap between start times. Driving for five hours down to KZN for a swim I hadn’t trained for felt like a chore but the OCD streak that runs deep within me would not hear of me ditching out.

Arriving at the dam broke my heart – this year’s event was a skeleton of the Midmar Mile that I know and love. There were no vendors allowed at the finish point which has stripped so much of the high-energy atmosphere and general excitement. I had entered the rolling start events so there wasn’t even the pushing and shoving to find your space in the water that I’m used to. Some would argue that avoiding a kick in the ribs as you try to swim over three other people at once is a good thing, but I felt a bit lost without the chaos that usually sends me off the start line.

I blitzed my first swim in an attempt to finish in sub-30 minutes. I know what you’re thinking: “but Hannah, you didn’t even train”. Look, logically I know that. But I just wanted to see how fast I could do it if I really tried to push myself. My fancy new watch that has a working GPS tracker – throwback to my previous watch not recording my Robben Island feat – buzzed every 500m which gave my nerd brain the opportunity to calculate my expected finish time: 29:something if I kept my starting pace throughout. This spurred me on even more and awoke swim teacher Hannah who tells her students to treat their legs like a motor and make sure they keep kicking all the time. I finished my swim with a time of 31:53. Not my goal but honestly; if I had made it, wouldn’t that have been such a kick in the face to matric Hannah who trained three times a week and managed to pull a 35:03 out the bag.

After the exertion of the first mile, doing another was the last thing on my mind. But, once again, backing out wasn’t an option. I drank half a recovery shake, ate a couple of those yummy Racefood bars they give out at the finish, and tried to take a nap in the car. All too soon, mile number two arrived.

I took this one slow and steady, and aimed to just enjoy it. And man, did I have a blast. I don’t know what it is about swimming but it puts me in such a meditative mental space – that is when I’m not swimming for speed or trying to calculate the square number of the distance I’ve already covered. I was able to stop thinking about everything – not the struggle to find our accommodation the night before, not the drive back to Joburg I had ahead of me that afternoon, nothing – I was able to simply enjoy being in the water on such a beautiful, bright day.

One of the things I love about swimming is that I don’t realise I’m doing it. When I run, I have to constantly remind myself to continue running instead of deciding to walk when I’m tired. When I swim, I may have to convince myself that I’m enjoying this and that I want to be here some days; but I’m still swimming throughout that mental discussion. It’s a movement that flows so easily for me that I forget I’m doing it. I think that is why I enjoyed this mile so much: I was able to focus on my swimming and enjoy the beauty of the movement and, ultimately, the wonder of the sport. As I approached the finish line, I found myself wishing I could stay in the water for longer.

These swims have relit the swimming flame within me and reminded me how much I love being in water. I want to jump back in and start clocking those miles again. But I need a new challenge, a new goal…

Jokes, I’ve already decided what that’s going to be. I’ve even roped in a friend already. I want to participate in the Midmar Mile 8 Mile Club next year. We’ll be swimming 4 miles one day, another 4 the next day. I don’t know much more about the event besides the fact that you have to raise a certain amount of money for charity in order to participate.

So prepare your wallets people! And your reading glasses, I hope to blog a lot of the journey along the way.